The Witticisms of Facebook.

Found this while digging through my facebook inbox. This is probably the best conversation I've ever had with a random person on facebook. Enjoy.

---

Guy: Dear Ms. R--,
You (or a friend of yours who hijacked your account) seem to have poked me.

I see that you're friends with C---, so you can't be all bad, but I was just wondering if we knew each other (and if I had forgotten...).

DG

---

Me: Dear Mr.G---,
I must admit to being your attacker (poker), and humbly apologize to have stirred such turbid thoughts of victimisation upon my pokee.

Pure animal instinct and the basest use of the feared "poke" feature resulted in my mouse hovering over the "poke" option after having seen some of C--'s recently updated photographs.

My most sincere apologies for the distress that pokeage may have caused.

VR

---

Guy:Dear Ms. R---,

Thank you for responding promptly with both sincerity and frankness of intent.

At one time or another, we have all found ourselves uncontrollably lured in by comely siren of the poke, the basest of our intentions surging from heart, to spinal cord, to index finger.

Please know that my distress at this unexpected pokeage was gilded with a dash of delight, and that I immediately stopped screaming upon reading your explanatory missive.

Considering the happy ending to this once foreboding road, I shall endeavour to have my photo taken (and, I hope, posted) by C--- in the near future.

A little bit excited and a little bit relieved,

DG

---

Guy: ahem..."lured in by THE comely siren of the poke"

how embarrassing.

---

Me: Dear Mr. G---,

I am pleased to hear that you yourself have been faced with the peril of intentionality that arises from the forboding presence of the poke feature. It is reassuring, as your poker, to know that your reception of the aformentioned poke has also been viewed with the rose-tinted glass of being a poker yourself.

I must admit, in a moment of unprecedented sincerity to my pokee, that I have never (nor hope to have again) such a pleasant exchange with my victims. --Please do not misconstrue this statement to cheapen the value of my pokeage, for indeed I do not poke often, and when I poke it is done with adamant conviction and feeling-- But nonetheless, I commend your acceptance of your function in the action and reaction of pokeage.

Once again, I must commend you for your clear physical attributes which led to my poke, and furthermore for your obvious wit which has made this exchange all the more pleasant. You, sir, are not just a pretty face.

I shall endeavour, should another instance in which your photograph finds itself on my news feed, to poke you again- without fear of consequence.

Affectionately yours-

VR
(p.s. I did not judge you for your absence of the article "the", I attributed it to poetic license and was impressed with the eloquence of the line, truth be told)